Posts by Lady Lee

38

Ladies. Your Favourite Bunch Of Flowers Would Be?

by invisible in

jw
friends

if i was to meet some of you ladies for the first time, i might be tempted to buy you a bunch of flowers, what spray tickles your fancy the most?

i know for englishmans missus, her ladyship, her bunch of flowers would include freshias.

please give me some advice on the appropriate action i should take if i met you for the first time.

Lady Lee

Pink and purple/mauve roses from my hubby

Fushias from anyone else

any thing purple, or lilac or mauve or lavendar - you get the picture - mixed with a bit of pink for accent

Hi there Mark

49

What is a JW childhood like?

by knighthawk1981 in

jw
friends

i was wondering what it is like to experience childhood in the org.

i am an aspiring writer ad the org has always interested me...not in the sense that i'd like to join.

please send me some replies.

Lady Lee

Hmm all of the above would apply. It was hard and the hard was supposed to be persecution.

A couple of things stand out for me

First the physical abuse. Beatings were regular in our home. I got beaten the last time when I was 17 years old. All sanctioned by JW teachings to spare the rod and spoil the child. That last beating was for not cleaning the house to my mother's standards.

Second was the child sexual abuse that was kept hidden by the family and the elders. As a result of the cover-up of that abuse I was sent into foster care for 3 years and lost all contact with my family. Even though I had no contact with the JWs during that period I did my best to follow the rules that I did remember.

Third was the arranged marriage when I was still a teenager. That was supposed to keep me from committing fornication.

Fourth was the emotional abuse and control. Every facet of life was controlled. Erring even a bit resulted in talks with my mother or an elder to set me straight. I wasn't a bad kid. I had learned early to be obedient and tried to follow all the rules but it was never ever enough. The constant pressure to perform was crushing. Unable to deal with any of the abuse I settled into a lifetime of depression - untreated and buried inside to make sure I portrayed the image of a "happy" JW. Having to stop thinking honestly about things and going through the normal developmental stages of childhood are impossible. There is little recognition of a child's abilities. All are expected to perform as miniature adults. This is way too much pressure for children. No wonder so many leave or get emotionally ill.

Edited by - Lady Lee on 4 August 2002 11:40:11

26

Were you df'd while suffering depression???

by Pistoff in

i have a son who was disfellowshipped while suffering serious depression and who was not actively "sinning".. i feel this is outrageous and want to know how widespread the practice is.

please tell me what your experiences are, i am interested and want to try to get the brothers to factor this in, so we can stop losing people to depression.

Lady Lee

Putting up my hand and saying "Me too"

My short version (long version is posted in my story)

Abused as a child before my mother joined the JWs.

Abused while a child and JW

Abused while a wife of elder in JW.

Severely depressed ans suicidal.

Committed adultery which turned into a rape to get away from my abusive husband/elder

Was DFed and given no support to make sure that no one found out that an elder in the cong was abusing his wife and 2 kids.

Hi (((flower))) good to see you hon

43

WERE YOU CONSIDERED A GOOD EXAMPLE?

by minimus in

jw
friends

have you ever had to deal with the thought that you really weren't that good of an example?

perhaps, the congregation was encouraged to pioneer or reach out for bethel service or go to seldom worked territory, etc.

and when you applied, you were told that you didn't qualify.

Lady Lee

Yes although more was always expected

63

How about some embarrassing 80's pics?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

let's post some of our 80's pic, or even further back if you want to.

it would really be fun to see some of you in your finest witness attire, bookbag and all.

baptism pics would be a blast to see.. wild turkey had this idea ,but he already started two threads.

Lady Lee

Um

sweet and natural

Oh gawd I mostly likely was.

I was the kid and wife that was too scared of her own shadow to do anything wrong. And in this picture I am about 30 years old and the mom of a 10 and 6 yr old (probably about 2 -3 years before I left) And elders wife. At home I was being abused. This was the one thing besides my girls that I felt good about. And I loved it and was good at it (probably because I loved it) I was also the voice that was never heard - very soft and quiet but here I could stand out - it was the first time in my life I could stand in front of a crowd and not want to hide under the seat

13

RIP Tequila :(

by SpiderMonkey in

.

i don't why i'm making a post of this, just because i guess... my dog died this morning, run over by a car... she saw a bunch of kids on the other side of a busy street, slipped out of the collar and ran for it... she didn't listen to me & she was dead before i even got to her :(.

in loving memory of tequila "mockingbird" casey, c. 1994-2002, the most beautiful, loving dog ever...

Lady Lee

(((Spider))) I cannot imagine how that feels

63

How about some embarrassing 80's pics?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

let's post some of our 80's pic, or even further back if you want to.

it would really be fun to see some of you in your finest witness attire, bookbag and all.

baptism pics would be a blast to see.. wild turkey had this idea ,but he already started two threads.

Lady Lee

From the position of my hands I think I am signing the word "divine" and yes I was interpreting at the convention. I did this from 1976 to 1985 and loved it. After I left the WTS I got a few jobs interpreting and teaching sign language at McKay Centre for the deaf in Montreal. I got to interpret for college students studying everything from computer programming to physics. Subjects I had never been exposed to but found very interesting. The interpreting eventually got me a job helping integrate disabled students into the college community. And then I decided to go to college myself and gave up a lot of the interpreting.

Here in Winnipeg I have had several opportunities to use my sign lang and even met a girl who knew tha deaf family who taught me to sign

and thanks for the compliment - I love Helen Hunt - and sure wished I looked that good now

Edited by - Lady Lee on 24 July 2002 20:29:10

6

Unconditional love

by libra_spirit in

jw
friends

i have seen this talked about many times and on many xjw boards but never really hit on the reason i have searched so fervently for it.. why do i expect to find "unconditional love" in my relationships.. well the answer has smacked me in the face.

normal people, that is non jw associates, normally get this kind of love from thier parents.

the parent child bond is the closest thing to unconditional love that i have ever felt, i have kids and i know this.

Lady Lee

Unconditional love is not the same as having boundaries. I love my children unconditioanlly but I still have boundaries. I still know where I end and they begin. That is what boundaries are. I can love my child but still teach them that it is not OK to abuse me. And if they continue to abuse me I can state the boundary and set a limit to how much I will take. I will still love them unconditionally but I will put a limit on their behavior. Boundaries are mostly about behaviors. Love is about feelings.

In a relationship I can love some one but my boundaries are not hte same as with my kids. I think I would love my kids no matter what. But in a relationship if he cheated on me I would stop loving him. He crossed a boundary of fidelity that would make it impossible for me to trust him again and then the love would be gone. Loving myself would mean that I don't let people hurt me and not take a stand on it.

Loving my kids unconditionally doesn't mean I accept all their behavior. I can say I love YOU but your behavior is unacceptable. Hoping this makes sense.

44

TV character that describes you

by Crystal in

the other night i was watching "king of .

queens"with a friend and he said you are "carrie"!!!

i thought about it and he was right.. what character are you?

Lady Lee

Are ya ready?

A cross between Oprah and Martha Stweart

20

Shunning? What About The Children??

by Tish in

hi to eveyone,.

i was d'fd 18 months ago, i was prepared for the shunning within my family and the borg of all my friends (as i never associated with "worldly people") but i have been totally blown away with how nobody cares about my 2 young children!!.

my kids have not heard from their aunties and uncle since i was thrown out in feb '01.

Lady Lee

When I was DFed I left my husband and he convinced the girls to stay with him. They did for a while but they were still shunned. Here they were still living with and going to the meetings with their father and they were still shunned by the other kids in the cong. They put up with his abuse and the shunning and then went to a lawyer to get the custody changed so they could come to live with me.

Their grand mother has shunned them as well as their aunts and uncles.

There is no real love in this organization. People are dispensable. They are always looking for new recruits.

I have to get to work but will try to pop in here later with more info about this